you have officially lost your BFF status.
each. and every one. of. you.
because, quite frankly, you suck.
why? you're mental terrorists.
and you are mental terrorists in a pattern.
1. you be nice to me.
2. you talk to me always.
3. you always see me.
4. i get attached.
5. we become legit bffs.
6. you find a newer shinier toy. one less prone to break.
7. you put me in the corner.
8. forget about me a little.
9. and pull me out to play when it suits you.
10. my heart breaks a little.
it's a vicious circle.
and so we're not doing it anymore.
either you want to be my bff, or you do not.
there is no "let's be bffs and YOU call ME all the time when you want to talk or else I will just assume you're fine."
p.s. friendship is a two-way street.
if i make more than 2/3 of the calls and do all the traveling to see you then you probably don't deserve to be my best friend.
this applies to all of my bffs.
if i've ever called you my bff, it applies.
newsflash: i'm not calling anymore.
not unless you call too.
i love you, but i'm not going to force you to be my friend.
so now i only have two best friends:
my Mama Leishous.
and Jordan, the sister.
and Sariah, the hair do-er.
the rest of you can earn it back.
or not.
now this:
is a picture of the paper chain of hours until i get to see Sariah and have beautiful hair again.
i'm excited. oBviously.
***can i just say this does not mean i don't still consider you all friends? it just means you don't deserve the title of a best friend...
3 letters from my name are there but I'm sensing this isn't about me, lol. :) loves Jaycie! (P.s. this is alex mathews writing anonymously)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but I think you're pushing a lot of blame on to others. Perhaps you should re-think this post. Maybe your "bff's" don't feel as though YOU treat THEM as bff's. Don't consider US emotional terrorists, consider yourself an emotional terrorist. Because, you're constantly making your bff's to choose between their lives and your own. It's emotionally taxing to constantly give and never receive. If you're there for another, they will be there for you. Jealously never looks good on anyone.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous #2, maybe you should grow a pair and use your real name rather than using harsh words against me on MY blog.
ReplyDeletefirstly, i try my best to be a good friend. i call people when i think about them, and i go out of my way to help people. I don't make people choose between their lives and mine. i don't ask for help. i don't demand time. i just ask for a little bit in return for what i give.
you better know i'd be there as quickly as i could if you were in any sort of bind. you act like i've treated you badly. i will say this though. i sense it when i'm being replaced, and distancing myself is my way of protecting myself a little from the blow that's heading my way.
and where did jealousy come from?
also, if you honestly feel like you're constantly giving and never receiving, i'm hurt that you've never said that out loud to me. how was i supposed to know you felt that way? by guessing? that never works...
ReplyDeleteDear Jaycie. I've never met you... but you rock. I apologize for never calling, I'll try harder ;)
ReplyDeleteDear Jaycie, I do have a pair and I will use harsh words against you on your blog. I say "amen" to Anonymous #2.
ReplyDeleteOn that note, Anonymous #2, thank you for being honest in your sentiments and expressions. Pe
Lara, i see that you are in the SLC. hmmm. how funny, because i myself am located in the SLC. perhaps we can grab some hot chocolate or something from starbucks and bring our online blog-stalking affair into the public eye?
ReplyDeletebranson, you don't get a reply. and perhaps you can answer the questions i asked in my reply to anonymous #2, as you did wholeheartedly agree with said person.
Yay! Blog stalking affairs! Sounds like silly good times.
ReplyDeleteJust call me anonymous number #3
ReplyDeleteJaycie,
A. I am sorry that you are feeling neglected by your BFFS and I wish that I was one of them so I could not neglect you.
B. I feel like it's fine and healthy for you to express your feelings and your hurt on YOUR blog.
C. I have been thinking about what I want to put here but nothing comes.
D. I really am very sorry for your hurt and mostly I don't think Wallice (don't harm me for this statement) can't compensate for the lack of human lovin'.
E. What I am getting at is I wanna be a new bff. where is my application?
anonymous #3, you are so getting on the bff list. i'm writing a blog about you soon so everyone will know how amazing you are!
ReplyDeleteJayc,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but I can see Anonymous #2's point. Also, maybe they chose to post anonymous because they foresaw your reaction above. I have to admit that I've felt the same way many times. I never wanted to tell you because you were always in the middle of some sort of disaster, and I didn't want to make anything worse for you. As one of your former "BFF's" I'm actually offended by this entire blog post. I think this whole idea is very selfish and childish on your part. I mean, honestly, Jaycie, if you have this many people to complain about then you have to look at the common factor. You push people away and it's exhausting to constantly be pushing back.
I love you and care about you and I always will, but there came a point in time when I was putting your emotional well-being above my own. I spent many crying, sleepless nights worrying about you and I did it because I CARE about you. But, after all of it, can you honestly say that you KNOW me? I know you VERY well, but you don't know anything about me. I never got the opportunity to share myself with you because it was never about me and always about you.
As far as a "shinier new toy" is concerned, what exactly is the problem with having multiple best friends? And, no one finds new friends simply because you are "broken", Jaycie. True, you've been though more than I can imagine, and I will never attempt to take that away from you, but you are using that term as a crutch. You know it and I know it. You are one of the strongest people I have EVER met, you are fully capable of the mending; let it happen because I believe it is already starting to. I don't like it when you describe yourself with derogatory language.
That being said, I would refer to what was written by Anonymous #2 as constructive criticism and nothing more. I also, fully agree with it.
If you are willing to dish it out publicly then you better be willing to take it.
I find the fact that you're mad at me for remaining anonymous quite idiotic. If you notice, you yourself did not have the lady balls to actually name the friends you are mad at. Instead, you put only their first initial. Don't you find that a little passive aggressive? I smell a hypocrite.
ReplyDeleteAnd, thank you Josie, you said all that I wanted to say and more.
you know, i'm going to go in and put some names. i did that to spare any feelings, but i'll change that just for you.
ReplyDeleteJacie, are you seriously not going to give me a reply?
ReplyDeletejosie, i left a message in your facebook inbox. do you want it on here? or is e-mail acceptable?
ReplyDeleteI know this is none of my business but Jaycie it seems to me that this Josie girl really does love and care about you. She is one that I would keep.
ReplyDeleteI like you, Jaycie.
ReplyDeleteNo, love you.
Sorry stuff is going poorly. Your friends are all dicks. Especially Taylor. Eff that guy.
Branson sounds like a little bitch too.
Feel free to call me any time,
David xoxoxo
Josie,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to have offended you, but can you honestly say you've even tried to be a friend to me since I left SUU?
You threw me an amazing party that meant the world to me. You helped me pack my car, then didn't talk to me AT ALL after that.
Then the newsletter thing happened, among other things and you started saying things like, "I don't even know you at all anymore."
Nothing changed but my location and suddenly you were calling me a stranger.
Still, I called you sometimes. And tried to see you while I was done in Cedar for Brandon's birthday. I guess now you're thinking, "Why didn't you even call me on mine?" I explained that to you, and apologized profusely. I tried to see you while I was there. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, we had lunch plans that YOU bailed on.
I guess you're right though. If i have this many people who are not very good friends, I must be the reason for it. Do you know why I push people away, Josie? It's because they always leave eventually. And rather than have it be a complete blow, I do things so it won't come as such a shock. In your case however, I was left baffled. You threw me a party one day and seemingly overnight you threw me under a bus.
You didn't call me. You didn't check in on me. And I can honestly say that I tried to stay caught up on your life. I would text to, never get a response, and finally have to beg you to know what exactly it was I'd done wrong.
As far as you putting my needs above yours, did I ever ask you to do that? Did I one time ask you to worry over things? Looking back, I think I made it pretty clear I wasn't going to change anything and that I was fine with the path I was on. And the things I wasn't okay with...well, why do you think I moved away from SUU? You better believe it was so I could start to fix things, and to an extent, I have.
When I talked to you, I didn't tell you those things to upset you, to make me worry, or to make you feel like my problems were worse than yours. It's my way of dealing with things. By talking, I find ways to fix things, without seeking advice.
And it really kills me that you think I don't know you. You told me quite a few times you didn't like to talk about things, that you were a very private person. And i didn't push that. I am pretty good at reading people though, and I read between the lines a lot and I got to know you pretty well, or so I thought. Just because my life was a mess didn't mean I wasn't willing to listen to you talk about yours. I assure you, other people dumping stuff on me is a welcome distraction from my own realities. There's something about other people's problems that helps me sort mine out.
I am sincerely sorry you felt our whole relationship was about me. I wish you'd have said something. Maybe then we wouldn't be here right now.
I also have no problem with people having multiple best friends. I do, however, have a problem with being completely replaced. I understand it's easier to be best friends with Katherine because she's close to you, but you really didn't make time for me at all after you started hanging out with her, did you?
The fact that you think I don't know you...i just can't get over that. Are you kidding me??? I remember letting you talk about RA training and how hard it was the ENTIRE time you guys were in training.
Yes, I'm sure we spent a lot more time talking about me because I was a disaster but to say I don't know you at all is just plain hurtful. I know way more about you than you'd like to believe.
you are a liar, I watched the entire thing and you must have a selective memory and a complex that makes you remember history in a completely different way. I am amazed and it takes balls to blatantly bold face lie to your best friends about that the events that happened between you. Good luck with finding someone that will put up with your fabricated truths
ReplyDelete- Shinny New Toy
Oh, Jaycie. You are sadly mistaken. You don't know me. This entire post is a revelation of that fact. I'm not going to sit here and argue with you about what actually happened in all of these case that you've listed above. I remember things occurring very differently. You're playing the victim card.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best in all that you do, but I have my reasons for the ways in which I reacted to you leaving college.
I was only trying to be helpful and constructive. There's no need for you to be so defensive. That being said, I'm sad that this whole conversation happened on a blog. It's kind of pathetic. And, I'm over it.
Hello all. My name is Colton, and I have a few words I would like to share. If thats alright.
ReplyDeleteI do not claim to be an authority on friendships, nor do I claim to know every single answer to every single problem that may arise between friends in any given situation.
But. I do know a few things. As surprising as that may be.
First things first.
What. A. Shit. Storm.
Okay. I'm glad thats outta the way.
(that should also be an indication that I'm going to handle this in a light hearted manner.)
I know that everyone goes through a lot. And anyone who says otherwise is either naive or trying to be difficult.
Everyone goes through a lot, and no one goes through the same thing as everyone else. All of our challenges are different. All of our challenges are specific to only us. And anytime someone else tries to say that someones difficulties are less hard because blah blah blah, its hurtful. Not to just that person, but to the dignity of that relationship, whether it be friendship or mere acquaintences.
I am not taking side. Jaycie has some valid points. Josie has some valid points. The Anonymous Commenters have some valid points.
But so do I. And in the end, mine are the only ones that matter.
Just kidding.
Thats a joke.
Everyone has valid points. Fact of life. Love it. Leave it. F*ck it.
I'm not going to sit here and say one person is right and one person is wrong. Thats not how relationships work. There is a give and take. We all know this. We all lose sight of this from time to time.
Now, I know that I, like Jaycie have felt abandoned for better things of better people of shiny new things as she put it.
I have also, felt hurt by a best friend that I thought knew I was always there for them.
Guys. I know where you're coming from. I know that things get shitty and you feel abandoned either for something new or by false pretenses.
Which is what happened here. You both feel abandoned.
And it is quite possibly the worst feeling in the whole entire world.
Now. I'm only going to say this next part once, and then I'll be done. So pay attention.
We all exist in this world, but we are nothing if we don't have each other. Friendship is the only thing that makes this hell hole of a world worth it. And if we start to tear each other apart and away by feelings of abandonment (whether inflicted of received) then we lose the thing that ultimately is going to keep us together.
Jaycie. I know hard times have come and gone and left scars and may still be there. And I understand feeling abandoned. Trust me. But. People are fallible. And as much as we want it to be true, they can't always be there for us. Thats why we have more than one. I realize they may not always call, and that you might feel like you only talk to them when you start the conversation. But. We can't always tell when you're going through a hard time. And sometimes we need that call. We're human too.
Other commenters. We gotta be here when we can and when we are needed. Thats the whole premise of friendship.
We all can only do the best we can. And it sucks that sometimes it doesn't feel like enough. But. If we all would just realize that we would do everything we could for each other if we could, it takes out a lot of the sting.
We're all doing the best we can. On both sides. Don't focus on the shortcomings. Please. Its not worth it. It only brings heartbreak.
Focus on what we have. Not what have not.
Please.
I love you guys. Remember that.