my heart is lost in Alaska...

last summer, a week before getting my Wisdom teeth ripped out, i went to Alaska, on a cruise.

i may have left my heart there by accident.

anyways, my parents want to move there so badly their teeth hurt.
my dad applied for a job. we'll see how that goes.

if they go, i'm totally going.
remember how i always move? yeah....well, at least i'm good at it.

my dad had a call about a job today. cross your fingers so i can go rescue my heart!

the voice....

two voices, actually.

i miss That Voice...you know, CB, the lanyard guy. sexiest voice ever to go missing from my life.

two.
the show that is on t.v. with C-Low Envy, Adam Ravine, Christina Agulieriraiala , and Blake Shelldumb.
it's fabulous. watch it. yes, i know i butchered those names. it's legit.

one more thing:
i miss my Crazy Tammie.
all i want is to spin, yoga, do weights. anything. my poor body without her...
only, i think my butt is bigger now? muscle, maybe? either way, i was hoping for SMALLER! ;)
kidding, love you Tamster.

adorable...plain and simple.

First, watch this video. a. it's lovely. b. because i told you so.

p.s. my mom is walking down the hall as i type this. i'm in bad trouble. because i'm yet to unpack my stuff.
since she was busy telling me to clean my room or die, (she didn't actually threaten death) i didn't tell her i got a job.

you know the glow-in-the-dark stars that six-year-olds litter their ceilings with? i have some. i'll be honest. i always just stay awake a few extra minutes at night checking out my stars.

you know how i go through phases with words or complete phrases? well the new word-combo is "thingy thing." it could describe basically everything.

two and a half months. it's all i have left of my two-year No Dating moratorium. Maybe I'll go for another two years. i'll be honest. i didn't do so hot at it this time, as you probably well know. also in two and a half months...he's coming home. he doesn't write to me. but he's coming home. and we'll see how that goes. he broke my vase once upon a time. and with such a short time left of the two year journey, paraguay is seeming all too close.

rediscovered some fave tunes/artists today. where did the ting tings, anberlin, and k. clarkson go? oh, just into the vault of neglected music is all. have no fear, i opened it back up.

did you know i doodle my name on pretty much every single piece of paper? it's like a nervous habit...only not? i think it's more because i'm narcissistic and love everything about myself, starting with my handwriting.

now, if you'll excuse me. i must appease the Mama Beast. she's really not a beast. i'm just NOT in the mood to clean my mess. ugh. i'm working at cold stone tonight. i suppose that can clean* me from The Mess.

*and by clean i meant save. see what The Mess is doing? IT'S CONSUMING MY LIFE!!! 

yoga. and other things.

so my super cute trainer, Tammie, has added a 7:00 a.m. class on Tuesdays. i HATE 7:00 a.m. but there's something about waking up for a work-out with my Crazy Lady that makes it worth it.

the reasons i love her:
she invites me to lunch and other things. even family stuff, which really touches my heart. it's good to belong.
she reads me well and knows when i just need to dance or talk.
she's married to a great guy, Tom. and they're in mad love. it's kind of inspiring. like my own parents. it's kind of adorable.

(side note: my parents are teenagers. they're always kissing and grabbing butt in front of us kids. i secretly adore it.)

back to the Tamster. i just made that up. because i'm brill. that's short for brilliant.
she's being a Nazarite, and she's always encouraging me to be my best. thus putting her on the Unlikely Best Friend list. it's more than official.

she teaches yoga. and i am quickly following in LOVE with yoga. it's hard. but peaceful. there's just something about it that grounds you. i feel like a very centered person. it's lovely.

i had a little breakdown last night. a good pal reminded me i've made some major life changes in the past month and it's completely normal to be overwhelmed.

cuddled'fell asleep on B. don't worry. clothes were more than present. i was a good girl. helps that he's just a friend. who cuddles me when i'm needing it. which is nice. i don't want anything other than cuddling. and he's content with just that.

p.s. i'm going to write the dreaded letter and send it this week. i'll share that story later this week.

in the meantime, i need sleep for spin/yoga/whatever is on Monday tomorrow morning.

the thing about sisters....

sisters are like

 ladybugs...

they are

little ladies 

who like to 

bug 

each other!

i just can't wrap my head around it...

i live in cache valley again!!!!

AHHHH! :) :) :) :) 

Master To-Do List:

Old Grist Mill soup.

Cold Stone.

Pita Pit.

Crazy Tammie.

Spin/Yoga/Dance/Plyo. yes, Yes, YES!

James. Rawr! I mean, Meow? Ouch Charlie, that really hurt! Boy, I will CUT you!

Movies with Brandon.

Dinner dates with Amos and Kat. Stalkers, unite!

DIY projects.

Lunch with the Brothers.

Babysitting Dawson, Kali, Izak, and Melia. 

Movies with Jordan.

Pizza nights with Mama Leishous.

Mowing the cabin.

Ice Cream from Macey's.

this is surely the life...

to Maggie,

you know, i don't even know where to start with this blog.

i know you've been struggling, and things haven't been going your way.
you don't feel the Savior's love. and you're feeling a little direction-less.

to put it bluntly, you go through this cycle way too often for your own good.
you go to church, you get happy. once you're happy, you look for love, and then you're destroyed.
i HATE to see you go through it, this pattern that never ends.

i think in order for you to be happy, you need to want it. and you need to be willing to work for it.
the most fulfilling things in life are never the easy things.

you need to turn to God. you need to pour your heart out. as much as you want me to, i can't do it for you.
yes, He's probably disappointed in your choices. but He still loves you. and it's killing Him that you're not talking to Him.

no one, not me, not God, not Brother Stauffer, NO ONE can make you have a relationship with God.
He's knocking....you just need to answer that door.
 (p.s. Stauff told me to tell you to go see him. and when you go, tell me. i wanna see you. asap.)

Just so you know, you're beautiful, inside and out.
You don't need a man to make you complete. You're perfect the way you are.
Maybe you should take a break from all men for awhile.
Rediscover who Maggie is and what Maggie needs and wants.
I know "Love" is at the top of that list, but just because it's at the top doesn't mean it needs to be in the 1. spot of your to-do list.

and just in case you didn't know it yet, i'm back in Logan.
so you better be calling me to play soon.

eleven hours between wellsville, cedar city, and then back.

theme song to the road trip today.
taco bell. starbucks. arby's.
popcorn.
buzz lightyear key.
jordanelle. i super love her.

now, the room project starts soon.
there will be pictures.
it will be brill. that's short for brilliant. in case you wondered.

this is the life...

yesterday, just after arriving, my brother and his girlfriend showed up.
we joked and laughed.
i went and bought purple paint. because, if i will be here a long time, i must love my space.

we talked. and talked. and talked.
then slept.

i've found a few cute new little DIY projects, courtesy of my mom.

when i woke up today, i threw on the first things i found. a tie-dye shirt and crazy tie-dye shorts.
my hair? a tumble weed mess. i walked upstairs, wiping the tired out of my eyes.
my mom turned and just busted up. "well isn't that quite the outfit!"
i loved it.

we just chilled all day. we didn't bother getting ready. because who would, on a snowy day?
surely not us.

we made spaghetti. and now i will make oatmeal cake. just to prove i still can.
i assure you, this time the flour WILL be present.

highlight though:
i haven't received any texts today. so i complained about it, as we were eating.
as i was taking my bowl for more spaghetti, i noticed i had a text.
blamed it on my sister, Jordan. finally opened it up:

i love you (:

i don't think it really gets better than that. sure, we bicker always. but that's code. if you read between the lines you can see that it's all done in love.

so here's the thing...

i realize a bunch of people will be disappointed no matter where i choose to settle.
the thing you've got to remember is that i need to do what's best for me.

not only do i need to be in a place where i can grow, but i need to be somewhere i can take care of myself.
let's be honest, you can't be a happy human if you're always stressing about keeping the bills paid.

i love cedar city. let's make no mistake about that.
but i only have a year to pay back $8,000 of student loan debt if i want to go on a mission.
that means paying $800 dollars a month for the next year.
let's keep in mind the rest of my bills equal $480 a month.
that doesn't include rent or food. rent and food would be right around $400 a month.

anyone know a job in cedar that will pay me $1,600+?
i sure don't. even living at home, i know i'll be working my butt into the ground to come up with the $1,300 just to pay my bills and my $800 student loan goal.

i'm not asking anyone to understand this. i'm just trying to do what's best for me.
you're either with me or against me, but quite frankly, i've got enough to worry about.
the last thing i need is to be worried about the toes i'm stepping on. it's not like i'm doing anything naughty anymore...

all i ask is that you try to support me and love me.
i'll be honest, this wasn't an easy decision to make.

all jokes aside,

i'm going to be okay.

i quit my job.
i moved out of my place.
i signed a lease in cedar city.
i'm staying a week in kaysville. to house and dog sit.

i'm an angry little elf. why?
because the internet doesn't love me.
so watching my glorious Michael Westin flicks takes time.
it goes something like this:
pick an episode. let it buffer.
play the buffered part. pause it.
let it buffer again.

i have a pile of laundry as big as Mt. Everest.
and i'm thinking i'll probably donate half of it when it's clean.
besides, it can't all fit in my car anyways.

i'm thinking cedar city will be a summer adventure.
i'll find a job, work my buns off, and then figure it out after that.
but cedar city has golden spoon. and that just might be reason enough to never leave.

life is currently going in a strange little direction.
aka...it doesn't really have a direction.

i'm thinking perhaps going to hair school.
regular school.
work. then a mission.
alaska.

marriage, eventually. while on this topic, i'd like to point out that i am six years old and that for the first time since i was sixteen, they have cooties. not only am i not looking for a relationship with a male, i'm dreading it. everyone else is getting married. i'm setting sails for SingleHappyLoserVille.

the obsessions today:
you know the Reese's cereal? yes, that. plain or with milk. i'll take it either.
showering. as soon as i finish the episode of Burn Notice i find myself waiting for.
clean laundry.
my break-up cactus. it's still alive and kickin'. what is this? jaycie keeping something alive?! yes. i, miss jaycie leishman, have a very much alive cactus. not that it's hard to keep a cactus alive. i water it only perhaps every week or two. i think it's growing. mind you, i spilled all of the dirt in my car. because moving is tough.

speaking of which, anyone with a big truck want to haul my poor buttocks down to cedar sometime in the next month or so? obviously i'm not really on a tight schedule anymore.

p.s. i went through all the movies at the kaysville pad. i found 17 movies from My List of Movies to Watch Soon. perhaps i'll tackle them all. along with the rest of season 3 and all of season 4 of Burn Notice. Though i have absolutely nothing to do, i feel as though it'll be a busy week!

the day i got fired...

remember this guy? well, he got me fired today...

i show up to work, cheerful and happy and perky as usual.
a couple hours later, i'm sitting in my Boss' office being questioned.

why? well, cb showed up to work today to find this, clear in Columbus, OH.

yes, that's me. plastered all over his cubicle.

i assure you i had nothing to do with it.
the plot thickens.

soon after arriving, cb, along with THE ENTIRE COMPANY received this e-mail:

From: Susie B.
Sent: Friday, April 01, 2011 9:25 AM
To: +All
Subject: Welcome New Employee to Team Leader!

Please join me in welcoming Jaycie Leishman to Team Leader! Jaycie will be joining our team as Logistics Coordinator, beginning on Monday, April 18. She currently resides in Salt Lake City, Utah and will be taking the next two weeks to relocate to Columbus.

Jaycie is currently an inside rep for one of our vendors, Snugz, so many of you have spoken with her on the phone. Aside from her background in thepromotional products industry (which will be very valuable to us!), Jaycie enjoys writing romance novels, snuggling in front of a crackling fire, and long walks on the beach.

I am sure you’re wondering why someone would consider relocating from Salt Lake to COLUMBUS!? I asked her the same question, and she coyly replied “my soul mate… the love of my life… lives in Columbus.” Then she kept talking about some dude’s VOICE… not sure where she was going with that one.

In any case, please give Jaycie a warm LP welcome when you see her – she’s moving a long way from home, and with only CB to keep her company, she’ll need your support.

Thanks!

Susie B.

Director of Strategic Accounts

A few of the LP reps decided they better forward it on to my boss.

Naturally, my boss freaked out. 

Since when am I moving to Columbus, Ohio? 

She TOLD me not to give out personal information to clients! 

How does this look for the company? 

The scolding went on and on and on....

I couldn't convince her it was just an April Fool's Day joke. Especially when she asked about "the Voice." What was I supposed to say? i AM obsessed with that voice...

Then B., the owner of the company comes in, gives this rant about how unprofessional my actions have been, that the company doesn't deserve this kind of reputation, and that they have to let me go.

Shortly after leaving, my Check Engine light came on. I guess I'll have to find new means of transportation to Ohio to start my job on the 18th. 

Perhaps next year, I just won't get out of bed on April Fool's Day...