Tuesday, June 19, 2012

sooo....i have a question.

does anyone still even read my blog?
seems like not really...

and if that's the case, i may just delete it.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

a long update.

and by long, i mean...an update.
because, honestly, my life is kinda boring.

comcast is great. free service is amazing.
i'm soooo bored of the training. it's stuff i know, and i'm more than ready to prove my stuff.
but the money rocks.
and i'm 3 miles away. it doesn't get better than that.

nothing has changed at all.
i may acquire a tv soon. and the maintenance men are creeps.
and my bills are mostly caught up, so soon i can start to decorate my casa.

i'm too poor to buy food.
or anything, really.
but, my bills are almost all caught up.
and that's a feat, all things considered.
in July, i will again be able to afford food.
it's going to be a joyous day.
i desperately need a new laptop. mine just literally fell apart. awesome. add it to the list of things i can't afford...

well...my back is a mess.
i walk around like quasimodo a lot because it always hurts.
let me describe what is going on.
this picture is of a neck, but it's the same thing that's happening to my lower back:

the green is what it is supposed to look like.
the red is really bad. my back is between the second and and third picture, closer to the second.
basically, because of the way my spine is wanting to straighten out, my nerves are getting smashed and making my nerves fire at random in my hips and legs.

so, my back hurts all the time, but my nerves firing at random is also hell. it takes me awhile to stand up and get used to standing, and i can't bend/play like i was able to before.
my legs go numb a lot, and i can't sit on the floor or do any high impact activities anymore.
very much of a life changer for me, but i'm figuring it out.
i'm very determined that it will not run my life.

i'm adjusting to the city. it's a big change, but i like it. and i'm getting used to being mostly alone.
i actually really like being all alone. it's new, but i like being able to do whatever i want, whenver i want, without having to answer to anyone.
i'm not going to church because i feel like a hypocrite when i do go, though my ward here is nice and welcoming. just not where i'm at right now.
i am very much anti-relationship. i love handy manny, but i'm not sure i want to settle down now or ever. for now, he's my best friend. and i'm okay with that.
that being said, i have joined an online dating website because i need to meet people. it isn't my favorite thing, but what the heck? i have nothing to lose, and i might meet some really awesome people.

i'm absolutely going back to school. probably spring or fall of next year, depending on work/money.
i do want to be a teacher, but comcast is awesome. and may turn into a career.
i want to go to utah. but that may be awhile. on account of how poor i am.

i'm going to decorate my place.
i'm going to get in shape.
i'm going to find some new friends.
and figure out how to just be me.

i figure i'm 21. there's no rush to solve all of these things today. or even tomorrow. i'm having a good time. and things are working out just fine. good update?
i promise to be better. i miss my blog.