i realize a bunch of people will be disappointed no matter where i choose to settle.
the thing you've got to remember is that i need to do what's best for me.
not only do i need to be in a place where i can grow, but i need to be somewhere i can take care of myself.
let's be honest, you can't be a happy human if you're always stressing about keeping the bills paid.
i love cedar city. let's make no mistake about that.
but i only have a year to pay back $8,000 of student loan debt if i want to go on a mission.
that means paying $800 dollars a month for the next year.
let's keep in mind the rest of my bills equal $480 a month.
that doesn't include rent or food. rent and food would be right around $400 a month.
anyone know a job in cedar that will pay me $1,600+?
i sure don't. even living at home, i know i'll be working my butt into the ground to come up with the $1,300 just to pay my bills and my $800 student loan goal.
i'm not asking anyone to understand this. i'm just trying to do what's best for me.
you're either with me or against me, but quite frankly, i've got enough to worry about.
the last thing i need is to be worried about the toes i'm stepping on. it's not like i'm doing anything naughty anymore...
all i ask is that you try to support me and love me.
i'll be honest, this wasn't an easy decision to make.
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go Jaycie!
ReplyDeletegood luck!
ReplyDeleteJayc,
ReplyDeleteYou seem to say this often "I just need to do what's best for me". That's the whole reason you left Cedar City the first time. Have you done what's best for you yet? Have you taken care of yourself yet? It seems like you keep wandering all over Utah hoping to find something different every place you go. It doesn't matter to me where you end up but when are you going to actually mean that statement "i need to do what's best for me."?? When are you actually going to do something about it?
I'm definitely with you girl...no matter what you choose! Love you always!
ReplyDeleteJosie, Jenna, and Tippy (love the nickname, by the way)thanks for your support. I'm sad this means I won't see two of you all that often.
ReplyDeleteAs for you Anonymous, by wandering around Utah, I've learned more lessons than you could possibly understand. I've made some serious changes in my life and for the most part, I'm content. The things I'm not content with are things I'm not putting to rest. I work every single day to get myself to a place where I'm content with everything.
I don't expect you to understand at all. You couldn't possibly, because you haven't been through anything I've been through, at least not with my same perspective.
I don't wander expecting different things. I wander because I LIKE to wander. It's not that I'm looking for things to be different. I'm looking for new experiences to help me grow. I move on when I feel like I'll grow more by leaving than staying.
I don't mean to bug at all, but like I always say, it's MY blog. It's a place to rant as I will. I hope you don't honestly have to wonder if I'm doing the things I feel like I need to do. Rest assured that I'm trying, same as everyone else...
p.s. If you really have to ask, you obviously aren't keeping close enough tabs on what's going on in my life...
ReplyDeleteI assume it's because you're too busy with all of your stuff to stay caught up with my life. It's fine, really. I have plenty of people who love and support me, regardless of the decisions I make. And if I'm being honest, I have to admit that it hurts a little that you commented without even trying to get in touch with me to ask yourself.
Jayc,
ReplyDeleteSorry I read this a long time ago but havent had time til now to comment....Im happy for you! Its about time you start taking care of YOU! Now do it! :) If you need anything let me know!!
-B