THIRTY! that's pretty incredible.
then i gained back six.
which i'm loathing.
the past month has been so hard for so many reasons.
my great-grandma passed away.
i moved.
my best friend is no longer in my life.
i traveled home a couple times.
wrecks. parking tickets. panic attacks.
i've been feeling like i don't know what my next step in life should be.
in a lot of ways, i kind of gave up.
on a lot of things.
i have been a complete and utter wreck.
but there were some amazing things that also happened.
i met the little love of my life.
This is Maximus:
he's turning into quite the little fatty.
and i'm obsessed with him.
he'll be with me in just two weeks. i can't wait! :)
i went on a bike ride last thursday.
i wasn't going to go, but i woke up early and figured i might as well.
it was SOOOO hard.
hardest bike ride ever, possibly.
until i realized i deserve it. i deserve to be happy and healthy.
i owe it to myself to be the best i can possibly be.
and that includes being healthy.
i got told at the beginning of this year that i can't be a runner.
i have a bad back. and running is excruciating.
but, i still think i may want to be a runner.
i'm thinking i want to get in a half marathon.
training for a half will suck, probably. until my back can get used to the high impact, i'll probably hate it.
but i want to try.
i want to take some dance classes.
and some spin classes. and more yoga, obviously.
i want to see how eating completely healthy for awhile affects me.
probably it will do wonders. but i just want to test it out.
i've NEVER been a super healthy person.
but i want to. i NEED to. and i can. how hard could it be?
so, tomorrow will begin the 30 days of healthy.
i'm sure that will turn into way way way more days of healthy, but i have to start somewhere.
no fast food. no processed food. just yummy, healthy food.
and no capri sun. that might be my hard part. however, juice and smoothies will suffice, i hope.
normal bedtime and plenty of sleep. a schedule. a boring, set schedule. so i know exactly what i should be doing and when i should be doing it. less being lazy on the couch with Zeuss.
bike rides. yoga. dancing. and i want to learn how to swim. (probably won't happen this month...)
but i can exercise monday through friday for a month.
i like to work out. and i need to use as much outside time as possible before it's time to put away my bike for the winter.
and you better believe this whole thing is getting documented. my blog will keep me honest.
i'm ready for this. i'm ready to change my own life. to work for something, to remind myself that i'm worth so much more than i've been settling for lately. especially this past year.
and there's this guy i like. who knows where things will go? but i'm testing it out. he's sweet and good. and he deserves someone who is sweet and good too. he's a little gun shy when it comes to me. i can't blame him. i would be too. and that isn't okay with me. i want to be someone who is completely happy and content within my own skin, someone who respects myself enough to say no to bad things, and to have enough patience to wait for the good things.
i've been a monster for awhile.
it's time to grow up a little. to stop complaining, and just to embrace things as they come, good and bad. because those things make me who i am.
it's time to shine. and you can be absolutely sure i'm going to blind the haters...
:)
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