tonight, my life is perfect.

tonight, my life is perfect.

i've been blessed with so much more than i ever dreamed possible.

right now, my heart is breaking.


but unlike usual nights, my heart isn't breaking for me.


tonight my heart breaks for the people who have harder lives than me. there are nightmares people go through.


i've spent the last few hours reading the story of Stephanie Neilson, a woman who survived a plane wreck a year and a half ago. she has four kids, four babies who can't remember what their mom looked like before she was covered in burns. every single day, her life is painful. i read her blog for a little over an hour, not sure what the story behind the scars could be. and my heart broke over and over as i read about her pain.


i know from experience that you can't ever convey your pain through typing words. what must it be like to live a day in her life?


less than an hour after the plane wreck that changed her life, in an ambulance she said, "I don't want to do this. I want to go home and make dinner for my family."


it's been a year and a half. and though i haven't met this woman, i'm sure she looks Heavenward and says the same thing to her Heavenly Father every day when it gets hard.


i find myself saying similar things when life gets hard. i think we all do. it's much to easy to look up and say, "I don't want to do this. I have homework. I haven't slept in days, and I desperately need a shower." and yet, sometimes, for reasons we won't always understand, we'll have to do those things anyways. and we will always always always emerge a better, stronger person.


i believe that, with everything that i am. i have a hard story too. and yet, i'm doing okay.

i laugh. i smile. i cry. i scream. i wiggle.


and i know that i'm loved.

and for right now-and hopefully forever-that's enough.


i hope you know you're loved.

and i hope it's enough.


thanks for listening and being you!


~jayc