some thoughts about Connecticut...

my love is out. he's attending a class, so i have a little time alone.
i watched a movie this morning.

it's called Beautiful Boy.
it's about a couple who's marriage is falling apart.
then their son is the shooter at a university, who is also killed.
the movie is about how they cope with it.

after the movie, i looked at facebook.
everyone is blowing up with thoughts going out to the Connecticut shooting at an elementary school.
i saw this comment that talked about the parents of the shooter:

"The guns are NOT the problem- crazy people being raised by unfit/disconnected parents are the problem!! You can't blame the tool or device that criminals use to commit crimes- blame the criminals and the society they have grown up in."

Crazy people being raised by unfit/disconnected parents?
um, excuse me?
did you really just mindlessly blame the parents of someone you've never even met?
how do you know they were unfit or disconnected?
blame the shooter, fine. but don't blame his parents. they didn't make him do it.
and you couldn't possibly know that they weren't there for their son, that they didn't love and support him, and try to help him in every way they possibly could.

in addition to all the parents, friends, etc. who lost their children and teachers today, there is also a mom and dad who no longer get their son, and who will not only mourn the loss of their son, but who will also have to deal with those comments from strangers, when they're already asking themselves..."Why? What more could we have done to prevent our son from doing this?"

Don't judge them...please, don't judge his parents.
no parent gets to make decisions for their child after a certain point...
my poor parents wish every day they could make decisions for me.
but, i'm an adult.
i get to make the decision.
and i LOVE that my sweet parents support the choices i make, though they might not agree with them.

parents are amazing. they do their best, and eventually they let us go out into the world to make our own choices. and they keep loving us.
so, don't judge them.