what did i do all day? easy...

this was google today. 

i probably spent most of my free time today playing with it.

the glasses guy was my favorite...

if you shook the mouse across his head, he would eventually shake it himself and throw his glasses off his head! 

it was this whole proccess of going through them. no one had a trick cooler than his, but they're so fun!

the blue guy, when he looks up he looks like he's looking at the gorgeous sky.

when he looks down he looks very disappointed.

the glasses guy looks up and he looks super duper nervous.

when he looked down he looks like a creepy teacher.

the yellow girl looks happy, then sad.

the dark guy looks bored, then shy.

the green guy looks stupid, then scary.

and the red guy goes from guilt to SUPER guilty.

if you type, they talk. and if you hold down Shift they keep their mouths open and look really savage.

i know, i know. i should have better things to do with my life, and i did, but it completely made my day! 

and that, my friends, is always worth sharing! :)

dreaming big...

i have big dreams.
i want a cute house with a porch swing.
i want a few babies.
i want a lover, best friend, permanent cuddle buddy.

i think i want to be a teacher.
i want to travel all over.
i want to be happy.

how to go about this, i am not sure.
my mom hates it, but i'm probably leaving utah.
it doesn't feel like home anymore and i'm ready to settle in a place, go to school, and start chasing dreams.

i'm doing this the jaycie way, independent of every other opinion.
i will search out places, jobs, schools, programs, locations, and compatibility.

but it's time to get going. everything's resolved here, and i can't find any good reasons to stay.
cross your fingers for me. and better yet, if you find a school with a great education program for a little hippie such as I, let me know.

another explanation.

so, if you've read my blog and stalked my facebook, you may have noticed a slight discrepancy.
that being that i'm engaged to one Taylor Lott and am having a crush on one Handy Manny.
they are not the same person....

so, the story of how i came to be engaged.
i met Taylor Lott in the SUU Book Store. he was looking at the same math book i needed. he had a mustache.
i am OBSESSED with facial hair on guys...not like a full-fledged mountain man beard, but some stubble...oh man...there's nothing sexier.
i complimented the mustache and possibly creeped him out by touching it.
the next day, i noticed him at a Housing BBQ. He was an RA, so I'd be seeing him a lot.
the next day, during check-ins, i took him tacos from Taco Bell.
within a few weeks, we were in love.

it's that best friend kind of love. we've had our fights, our ups and downs, just like everyone else.
thing is, the timing is never right for us. we're never in the same place at the same time.
and we want different things out of life.
but he's that person i could be happy with, if the timing were ever right.

not much of a story, i know. but i'm not feeling it today, for some reason.

it's time i came clean, don't you think?

He's been mentioned a few times anyways. I might as well dedicate a blog.
But i'm stealthy, so I already snuck in things about him several times without making it too obvious.

I don't wanna give away too much, but i figure you, my faithful loves, deserve a little something something.
So, here goes. The story of how I, Jaycie Leishman, have come to have a real crush.

Code Name: Handy Manny (He looks like the cartoon guy on the Disney channel show, shown above.)
Is it embarrassing that it's my favorite cartoon? No matter. I won't change my mind.
Age: doesn't matter.
Weight: also doesn't matter.
Occupation: Super Sexy Important Manager Genius. Also, soldier.
Best feature: I really like his face. But I also like his hands, even though I tease him. Also, it doesn't count as a feature, but his hugs. He just opens his arms and pulls me in.
Location: Slumberland. (Anyone catch the movie reference? It's Little Nemo...weirdest. show. ever. He's asleep, by the way. Or at least should be. He has school in the morning.)

The day we met, I was tired. I had a 6:30 a.m. spin class. I didn't eat beforehand because I was borderline late, and I sure didn't get ready. I was wearing work-out clothes, so i looked pretty cute. But I didn't smell good, at all. And i was soooo grumpy. Long story short, he waltzed into my life. I didn't like him.
According to him, he couldn't have been more obvious about hitting on me.
I don't remember him being obvious at all! Seriously, how hard would, "Jaycie, do you wanna do something tonight?" have been? I digress. Besides, I had a date.
I didn't like him. He teased me to my friend, and so I thought he hated me.
I grilled him about everything, assuming he wasn't good at very many things. He sassed me right back.
The next day, he gathered my information. I looked smokin' hot on this day....I had to redeem myself.

Three days later:
He finally texted me because he couldn't find me on facebook. Well, duh. I'm unsearchable. Gotta keep those stalkers at bay somehow...

I was on my way to a date. It was a weird week, you know? I don't date. Ever. Guys aren't interested in me, so I am very single. He just caught me on a weird week. Two dates in one week??? That never happens...

So I added him. He stalked. I went on my date. We both happened to be online at midnight, when I returned.
We shared youtube links and talked until 3 a.m. We did this a few nights in a row.
Facebook chatting turned into texting, which turned into calling, which turned into video chat. He's far away. It's as close to a good cuddle as I can get. Also, thank you Google Video, for not using all his CPU and thus making our chats possible after Skype failed us.

Then came a nearly-missed flight, Madagascar, kissing, cuddling, a concert, movies, food, fun, mini M&M's, pickle chips, and eskimo make-outs. A few really wonderful days he got to spend basking in my glow.

Long story short, I got to know this guy. He's really so so so great. He makes me laugh every day, but I never make him laugh. I'm not that funny. I'm only funny and cute SOMETIMES, according to him.

He treats me like a princess.
When I'm actually with him, he opens doors, he snuggles me, he kisses my forehead, he TALKS to me, makes sure I'm comfortable, and he keeps me safe.
When we're far apart, he checks in on me all the time, he helps me solve silly puzzles, he teases me, and he makes sure I'm okay all the time. Perfect example: he's gotten sick a couple times. Instead of wallowing in self-pity or complaining or whatever--like i would do--he asks me about my savage killer allergies and how I slept.

He puts everyone first. He's juggling full-time school and work on top of being in the Army and other regular life stuff. Like I told you, he's pretty amazing. I can't seem to juggle my job and sleeping. He gets all of it in and still makes time for me!

Most Awkward jaycie-created moment: We talked a lot before my visit about how I hate kissing. I was terrified that I'd be bad at it because no one ever told me I was good at it. I just had all these irrational fears.
So, while I was with him, we watched Madagascar so I could calm down, and then we played zombies for a bit, which gave me some serious anxiety.
Out of nowhere, "I'm just terrified of kissing!" burst out of my lips.
From that point, I spent FORTY-FIVE minutes talking myself into it. At one point, he kissed me. I didn't even kind of return the kiss. I was too scared. He responded to that with, "If you don't want to kiss me, I'm not going to pressure you into it. Kiss me whenever you're ready."

No pressure, right? Wrong. I freaked out more.

He was soooo cute about it though. Thirty minutes in, I made him chew Stride Mystery gum with me, just so we'd taste good so I wouldn't have to worry about bad breath. I put on chapstick so my lips wouldn't be dry. I got so close, and then I'd pull away very last second. I just couldn't force myself to do it!
Finally, he got sick of that and said something like fine, "I knew you weren't going to kiss me."
I explained that I wanted to, I was just scared, and then I asked him to teach me how to kiss him.
He finally did, after telling me to close my eyes a hundred times. Yes, I kept peeking because he took forever!
Long story short, it was great. He told me I'm a fantastic kisser. Duh. Like there was ever any doubt! ;)

And so that is the really story of why I have a crush on Handy Manny. Hopefully it was worth the wait, my loves.

grateful.

today was a very long day. well...it was great until 3:30, when the last of my bffs left work.
from 3:30 to 8:00 i have to find ways to entertain myself on saturdays.

i read magazines and books.
i go through all of the slideshows on xfinity.comcast.net, as it's the only site i'm allowed to visit.
i play with silly putty.
i color in coloring books.
i cuddle up in my blankie and watch movies after begging my superiors to change the channels for me.
i eat mini m&m's. chips. donuts. gum. drink water.
i paint my fingernails.
i write in my pretend journal.
and i take customer calls, aka i do my job.

it sounds like enough to keep a person occupied, but it's not. i get so lonely and bored.
it's funny how that works. when everyone is around on any day besides saturday i curse their existence and wish for them to leave. but on a lonely saturday, all i want is someone to join me.

but at least i have a job.
and in times like these, i remember all the great things i have.
like wallice.
glowy stars.
his cute texts randomly during the day, even though he's busy.
blankies that keep me warm in the freezing place.
my cute mom. <insert rest of family here.>
i have everything i need.
and most of the things i want.
i'm healthy.
i'm a survivor.
i'm a lover.
and i'm me.

it's only 3 1/2 more months. i can totally do this.