a letter to my Future Eternal Companion...

Hey Baby, or FEC for short.

i know you're my best friend. my very bff, and even though i say i have a million, it's really you.

i know you watch Madagascar with me because it makes me okay.

will you bring me ice cream when i'm down?

and fetch me midol and tampons when i just can't bear to go out?

will you call me jaycie penny to tease me?

and instead of trying to fix things, just whisper, "jayc..." and know it's just enough for me...

please hug me a million times a day.

and even when you think i've had enough, hug me one more time.

i promise it'll never get old.

please understand my mistakes and my flaws.

and love them more than the things i'm good at.

when i say, "do you love me even though i'm a savage?"

i hope you say, "i love you ESPECIALLY because you're a savage..."

remind me sometimes that life isn't meant to be serious.

when there are bills, and kids are screaming, and the house is a mess,

dance with me in the kitchen.

i hope you tease me when i cry during the cute commercials.

and when i see a mom kissin' her baby's skinned knee.

or follow around an old couple who are still so madly in love.

but i hope it makes you smile a little. and fall in love with me a little more.

just because it's a part of me that you love.

argue with me. and then help me with the dishes.

please let's make it tradition, to always do the dishes together?

we won't need a dishwasher. because we both have hands to do the work.

it'll be our special time to talk and laugh and sometimes cry.

love our babies.

and leave work at the door before you come home.

play with us. and make us the most important part of your world.

we'll be waiting when you come home.

the house might be a mess. and dinner might not be ready.

but I will try to be showered and cute for you, because it’s what you deserve.

and i'll always be waiting with a kiss meant just for you.

don't get mad when i spend out grocery money on jeans.

instead, admire how great they make my butt look.

please remember i love you most, even though i sometimes still cry over "him."

it's not that i miss him. it's that i wish you'd been able to see who i was before he changed everything about me.

when i wasn't as cautious.

when i trusted more.

laughed easier.

and panicked less.

just love me.

even when i'm pregnant and fat.

and not pregnant, but still a little fat.

eventually i’ll get my cute body back. 

love me when i cut off all my hair on accident.

or turn it a funny color.

love me when i'm happy.

and especially when i'm sad.

love me when i swear and scream.

sing to me. even if you have a bad voice.

and i'll sing to you. in public. just to embarrass you.

do those things for me. and i promise to love you forever and always.

through thick and thin. through our poor days and maybe our rich days.

when there are leaks in the roof. and our floors creak.

i'll love you when you're stressed.

and i'll straighten your tie when it's crooked.

tell me i'm pretty even when i'm probably not.

i'll roll my eyes. but secretly feel like a princess.

i may be crazy. i may not be the prettiest. or the skinniest.

but i'll try my best to be perfect for you.

you know, i want the boring kind of life.

that perfect happiness that comes from just being together.

not because life is perfect.

not because we are perfect.

but because our love is.

and sometimes when i push you away,

or say really mean things,

just keep loving me.

and i promise to keep loving you.

even when it's not easy, i promise to keep loving you.

forever yours,

jaycie penny.

maybe it was because of the boyfriend tee....

there's just something about being completely alone...

i always shower and get cute.

hair. make-up. the works.

and then i ruin it by curling up in some cute undies.

and a boyfriend tee.

and on days like today i watch clips like this:

this whole thing just kills me.

when they're watching clouds and he just kinda smiles.

and when they're washing windows together.

and when she puts her painted hand on the mailbox by his instead of repainting the whole thing.

i just love it. and i want that same thing for me.

someone should take Christmas away from me....

why, you ask?

because i'm a terrible gift-giver.

while everyone's been stressing over the PERFECT gift for everyone in their Contacts list, i've been sitting in the striped chair in the Thorley's living room.

blogging.

eating.

cuddling with Maisy, Mojo, and Zoe.

sleeping.

watching movies.

sipping (more like chugging) Diet Coke.

online shopping.

applying for new jobs.

watching season four of Dexter. (seriously, watch it.)

watching season one of Modern Family. (seriously, watch it.)

listening for the timer on my cookies.

warming my feet when the fireplace is on.

calling loved or hated ones.

mind you, this process is basically my life after work.

because i'm a loser.

anyways, eventually the time came to buy Christmas presents.

only, i never thought about it. see the pickle?

i waited a few mintues.

no divine help was to be mine.

and so, i took the easy way out.

i got everyone a chocolate orange, by Terry's.

and by everyone i mean my five immediate family members.

everyone else can go die in a hole as far as gifts go...

but that wasn't enough.

so i stuck a $20 inside.

sue me. but like i had time to think of something better.

and besides, who doesn't just want some spare change after the holidays?

aren't they basically designed to wipe people out anyways?

the trouble with tuesdays...

once upon a time, in between six million customers today, i had a strange thought.

isn't Tuesday the most pointless day of the week?

seriously...

Monday is the slap back into reality.

Wednesday is the middle, the hump, when you notice the light at the end of the tunnel.

Thursday is the day before the weekend.

Friday is the first day of the weekend.

Saturday is the day off for shopping and dates and sleeping in.

Sunday is for relaxing and eating.

but Tuesday....

it's just nothing.

just a big fat waste of calendar space.

just another eight-hour shift.

just another night without any good t.v. shows.

and for that reason, i motion to remove all Tuesdays.

amen.

oh shoot. i forgot about Taco Tuesdays...

i guess we can keep 'em.

surprise!

so...last night, eh?

Jaycie the Spontaneous.

he confirmed it.

wait. i know you're asking, "he who???"

Five Guys.

yes, Five Guys used my napkin number.

p.s. Five Guys shall be his code name.

since it's where we met.

back to last night:

text received at 9:34.

it's a 918 area code.

first thought?

who the heck do i know from the 918???

then i read this:

hey this is Five Guys from five guys. i'm assuming you have texting?

my face:

okay, the picture doesn't do me justice at all, but still.

obvs i was excited. in the best way possible.

so what have we learned about Five Guys?

he's from oklahoma.

he's moved here a little over a month ago.

and he's a complete sweetie.

we might have texted until 12:47 a.m.

and then we might have texted for a few hours this morning before he worked.

pros:

he's not intimidated by the fact that i'm a super smart super genius.

he doesn't think i'm crazy. (and if he does, he didn't say it.)

the word he used to describe me: spontaneous. over-used, but still cute.

nearly every time i ask him a question, i'm pleasantly surprised by the answer.

he seems genuinely kind, a rarity among men. 'specially in my life.

he doesn't feel threatened by Wallice, my main squeeze. literally! :)

on that same note, he didn't tease me about Wallice.

he's american and speaks english. (unlike the last one...or three?)

cons:

the number of time he used Lol: way too many to count.

(although, who can blame him??? i AM super funny!)

he's never seen Madagascar.

considering those "cons" can be remedied, this might not be so bad...

either way, i'm hooked.

i'm intrigued by Five Guys.

like always, the plot is thickening...and i'm kinda excited! :)